sloptells / “here's what actually happened”

active · construct · first recorded 2026-07-02 · registers: linkedin

The reveal-promising colon: “Here's what surprised me most:”, “Here's what nobody tells you:”. Setup theater before ordinary content.

examples

…But here's what surprised me most: the first year wasn't about landing the perfect client…

evidence

occurrences per 10k words, measured 2026-08-17 (run #10, 3 current + 3 vintage models)

current AIvintage AI (2024/25)humans (matched)canon (great pre-AI prose)
pooled1.941.830.110.06
hn0.000.00
cooking1.590.00
parenting2.480.34
linkedin9.47

history

rundateAI /10kvs humans
#22026-07-021.81×16 vs humans
#32026-07-021.82only in AI
#42026-07-061.10only in AI
#52026-07-131.00×8.0 vs humans
#62026-07-201.39×13 vs humans
#72026-07-271.55only in AI
#82026-08-031.39only in AI
#92026-08-101.93only in AI
#102026-08-171.94×17 vs humans

detector

regex: \bhere'?s (what|why|the thing)\b

sources

← all tells